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LIFE COACHING

Being Coached can feel different at first
(But will quickly become very enjoyable)

Connecting For Results #67
April 7, 2006
Copyright © 2006 by Bill Dueease

Experiencing true life coaching under the right conditions will most often feel very different. You will be the total center of attention, under very private, and confidential conditions. Your life coach will concentrate on drawing out from you your inner thoughts, passions, feelings and priorities, on YOUR TERMS. Your coach will be completely supportive of what you express and reveal, WITHOUT JUDGMENT AND WITHOUT AN AGENDA. Your life coach will actively focus on getting you to look inside to express your true self, through the coaching questions they will ask you. When you reveal your inner passions and thoughts by answering their coaching questions, they will reflect this new information back to you like a mirror would. As your equal partner your life coach will also encourage open discussions about these new revelations you discover about you to help you understand them so you can use this new information to YOUR best advantage towards achieving your coachable goals.

You will be able to openly discuss your deepest inner thoughts and feelings to another person who will:

• actively encourage you to unleash your true thoughts,
• be totally focused on you and give you their total respect and attention,
• keep you focused on YOUR inner feelings and motivations ONLY by excluding other outside influences,
• keep you moving forward towards your chosen goals, and not get distracted or deviate elsewhere,
• keep everything you say very confidential between the two of you,
• be honest enough to reflect the truth as he or she sees it in you,
• totally support you as you unleash your inner powers,
• celebrate with you as you feel the joy of continued self-discovery,

AND your life coach will:

• not judge you or evaluate you,
• not try to impose their agendas or personal beliefs on you,
• not require you to explain why you want to do or not do something,
• not let you revert to the past,

Right!!

Sounds almost too good to be true, doesn't it? Where else or with whom else could you possibly experience anything like what you will feel through life coaching? In fact, you will have difficulty believing anyone would offer you such objective, honest focused attention, because you most likely have not experienced that from anyone else before.

Why Life Coaches offer what others do not.

Friends, spouses, loved ones, parents, teachers, religious leaders, therapists, coworkers, bosses, consultants, and trainers all have their own agendas, will judge your statements, will rarely be able to concentrate totally on you for any length of time, and will be strongly inclined to present their opinions and or superior knowledge or positions. The life coaching process was designed to make you the total center of attention, to actively seek and discover the many inner aspects of who you are today and what you want today without hesitation, with clarity and without judgment. Life coaching fills the voids not addressed by other human improvement processes. Few people are aware of the possibility of experiencing the unique wonders of being coached.

Most first time life coaching clients have trouble recognizing, understanding, and accepting the new experience of being coached. Think about how often we are judged, coerced, watched, and second-guessed through our daily lives, especially at work. We put up walls to protect ourselves from the watchful and judging eyes and to block out the thousands of advertisements that inundate us daily. Yet, your life coach will encourage you to remove these walls and reveal what is really behind them. Experiencing this discovery process can be quite different from the protective manner under which we normally live.

An example.

If a 45-year-old-married secretary in Boston revealed to her coach an inner passion to become a trout-fishing guide in Alaska, her coach would not say, "Are you nuts?" Or her coach would not say, "Why would you want to do that?" Instead, her life coach would ask deeper coaching questions like, "What kind of trout fishing?" "How often do you want to do this" "What part of Alaska do you want to fish in?" "What do you want to do when winter months preclude fishing?" "Where does trout fishing fit into your present work?" Her life coach will assist her to discover what she really wants to do, to understand it better, and to prioritize it within he total life. She would not have to explain why! It would not matter. How can anyone explain why he or she is passionate about doing something? Or, for that matter, being passionate about not doing something?

Describing life coaching to others can be difficult!

It can be very difficult and frustrating to explain what a true life coaching experience is really like, whether verbally or in writing, like in this newsletter. People who go through true life coaching under the right conditions rave about it, but they also have trouble describing what it was like and why. Normally, they are so focused on continuing their life and career improvements and enjoying the fruits of achieving their goals, that stopping to explain how it occurred becomes lost.

My personal experiences with being coached.

I personally have experienced true life coaching at three different times in my life, at 22, 54, and 60. And, I still have difficulty explaining why I felt so good during the process. Therefore, I normally discuss the terrific results I achieved through life coaching, which are easily explained, are very remarkable, and are much easier for others to understand. The experience itself was worth the trip.

The feeling of skiing powder snow.

Likewise, I have experienced the thrills and wonders of skiing down long slopes in untracked Champaign-power snow that was deep and fluffy. There is no other experience like it. I have ceased trying to explain it to others, because it is such an unusual feeling. How could others relate or even partially understand the thrills and fun I get from falling down a mountain with my feet covered in snow while leaning DOWNHILL at average speeds of 25 miles per hour to over 50 miles per hour? And then there is there the additional thrill I get by skiing at these speeds between trees and other obstacles nature provides that requires extra effort and special skills.

How can you understand what being coached would feel like?

To really understand the remarkable feelings of being coached by a true life coach under the right conditions, you just have to experience it for yourself. Likewise, to fully understand the joy of skiing untracked light powder snow; you just have to experience it yourself. I have experienced both, and encourage you to try them also.

Enjoy your trip!

Here's another TCC Client success story for your reading pleasure.

Kim, a life coach client, came to TCC at the age of 61. She was a partner in a CPA firm and found herself extremely overwhelmed in the day-to-day operations of the firm. I believe her words best describe her coaching experience with TCC:

To Whom It May Concern:

I started working with my TCC Member Coach in July of 2002. At that time I was extremely overwhelmed and barely functional in my business. I seemed unable to focus on my work for an entire eight-hour day, let alone extra hours that my business requires. My TCC Coach started working on the important issues that were preventing me from being productive and functional right away. After the first session I had some relief as she had me create a To Not Do list to reduce the feeling of being of overwhelmed. She was intuitive and realized that I needed to make changes in my personal life that would help increase my energy level and ability to focus before I could tackle the problems in my business.

Over the subsequent months that I have worked with my coach I have found her to be extremely conscientious. From the start I have felt that my problems were as important to her as they are to me and I never had a doubt that she wanted me to succeed and was committed to help me do just that. When I have had phone sessions with her I always feel that she is totally engaged in our session. She remembers me and what we have been working on and I always feel that she is completely tuned in to where I am and where I want to go. She has been of great help in helping me to define and refine my goals.

She seems to have a vast repertoire of materials to help me understand concepts and work through confusing situations. She has recommended books and audiotapes and has sent me numerous exercises to help us further explore the various subjects we are discussing.

She is very intuitive and insightful. She asks what I describe to her as "hard questions". What that means to me is that she asks questions that I do not have a ready answer for, which I have to think about before answering. I realize that these questions are meant to invoke discovery and insight on my part and sometimes to challenge my assumptions.

My TCC Coach is a wonderful, warm, caring coach and the time I have spent working with her has been invaluable. She understands the many facets of my life, both business and personal. She has a very refreshing perspective on life and a positive, upbeat attitude, which is contagious.

My coach continues to patiently guide me along the path of creating a wonderful life for myself. Since I have been working with her I have grown in the following ways: I am putting a much greater emphasis on spirituality and gratefulness as the basis for life, I have reached out more to people on a personal level and have mended some fences, I have for the first time in my life reached out more to people on a professional level by joining several networking groups where I am creating contacts and friendships, I am taking better care of myself physically and emotionally. Best of all, I am now able to be fully engaged in a full workday almost all of the time. I had been very worried about my business failing but it now looks like I will be able to get it turned around.

I would highly recommend my TCC Coach to anyone needing help along his or her life's path. Her combination of knowledge, character, commitment, and people skills make her an ideal life coach. And last, but definitely not least, she has a wonderful sense of humor and uses her wit to help bring life into perspective.

Kim

We welcome your opinions and comments.

Bill Dueease
Editor

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