February 27, 2006
Copyright © 2006 by Bill Dueease
The TV program called Starting
Over has been on the air for about three years. Starting Over is
a scripted, Hollywood, dramatized entertainment TV show. It features
women with many different life problems, who have been sequestered in
a house under controlled conditions. The show produces good theater
and entertaining drama as these women are followed around 24/7 with
cameras recording their struggles to overcome their problems.
The show provides at least two people they call “Life
Coaches” and at least one consulting psychologist to help these
women overcome their problems. The show will also provide makeup artists,
hair stylists, and even Jenny Craig to help these women improve their
appearance and lose weight, as part of their path to overcome their
problems.
To get a better understanding of the type of women who appear on the
show and the problems they bring with them, we present you the synopsis
of some of the Starting Over women participants, to include:
A woman over 40 who is lives at home and is still being supported by
her parents.
A woman facing cancer and her struggles to survive and get on with her
life.
A woman whose mother was killed in one of the 9-11 airplane crashes
and her struggles to deal with the grief and life thereafter.
An Olympic hopeful gymnast who blew her chance to make the team who
struggles with the guilt and depression of letting her family down.
A young woman who suffered a sudden onset of blindness and the struggles
to cope and adjust.
A young pregnant woman who is single, does not know who the father is,
and her struggles to cope with motherhood alone.
A woman who suffered physical and sexual abuses from her family, and
her struggles to just have a normal life.
A woman who had a severe weight loss due to gastric bypass surgery,
and her struggles to adjust to her new size and shape.
The show then broadcasts edited video of taped interactions between
two supposed Life Coaches who appear to do whatever they can to change
the women as a means of overcoming their problems. These supposed “Life
Coaches” apparently have considerable power over these women to
toss them from the show, if the women participants do not do what they
are told to do. The women are confined to the house and are subjected
to cameras taping almost their every move, especially their interactions
with the supposed Life Coaches, therapists, makeup artists and weight
loss guru’s.
We are happy that Starting Over alerts the general public about the
Life Coaching process, by showing how their two “Life Coaches”
interact with these women with problems. Unfortunately, the producers
and writers of the show are portraying the Life Coaching process and
how life coaches really help people in a very inaccurate and even sometimes
negative way. Yet, viewers believe that true life coaches act and do
what the supposed “Life Coaches” on Starting Over do to these
women with problems.
We feel that it is important to point out how true life coaching is
different that the Hollywood versions shown on Starting Over. The reason
we fell compelled to do this is because we are receiving more and more
calls from Starting Over viewers who want TCC and TCC Member Coaches
to do what the Starting Over “Life Coaches” do. But Starting
Over supposed “Life Coaches” are not providing life coaching
or anything like it.
Starting Over women (clients) come to the program with problems,
most often dramatic ones.
Coaching Clients come with a desire to improve their lives by
achieving “Coachable
Goals,” which are future places they want to be that require
them to grow and improve as a person to achieve them. They are not escaping
or fixing problems.
Starting Over women are housed in controlled environments where
the supposed “Life Coaches” judge the women to decide who
stays, who is told to leave, and who graduates from the show. The women
know it and respond to the authoritarian position of the supposed “Life
Coaches.”
Coaching Clients are free to come and go as they please. True
coaches do not judge or evaluate clients, and have no control over what
their clients do.
Starting Over supposed “Life Coaches” act as their
all-knowing superiors and come across as somewhat arrogant.
True life coaches are equal partners and not the superiors of
their clients.
Starting Over Supposed “Life Coaches” constantly tell
the women what to do, how to do it, and when to do it.
True life coaches do
not tell clients what to do or give advice.
Starting Over Supposed “Life Coaches” demand the spotlight
and take as much credit as possible for any changes. They are the stars
of the show. They are paid to be the center of attention.
True life coaches focus all of their energies on their clients,
who become the true center of their attention. Life coaches concentrate
on assisting their clients to achieve their goals receive their rewards
and celebrate as they see fit, without the involvement of their life
coaches, who remain behind the scene.
Starting Over coaching is performed in the open public and the
supposed “Life Coaches” do not care about the privacy or confidentiality
of their relationships with the women on the show.
True life coaches are bound by strict confidentiality ethics
and protect the privacy and secrecy of what transpires between them
and their clients at all costs.
As you can see the differences are many and very substantial between
the supposed Life Coaches” on Starting Over and true life coaching.
These differences are so glaring that it can create very confusing and
frustrating situations when Starting Over viewers seek their own “Life
Coaches” to be in the same mold as portrayed by the supposed “Life
Coaches” on Starting Over. We at TCC have had some interesting
conversations trying to explain that true life coaches will not perform
the same activities as the supposed “Life Coaches.”
We are not saying that the supposed “Life Coaches” on Starting
Over are good, bad, better, or worse, than true life coaching. That
is not our place to judge. We are only saying that the writers and producers
are mislabeling their star characters as “Life Coaches.” Based
upon my contact with the show and my understanding how and why it was
formed, I feel that they purposefully mislabeled their stars as “Life
Coaches” at the beginning to take advantage of the credibility
and legitimacy of the true life coaching process. It worked for them.
Yet, the power of their Hollywood show has created a very false and
inaccurate picture of life coaching.
Unfortunately, the Starting Over TV show has a much larger viewing public
and far greater penetration into the hearts and minds of millions of
viewers (and sponsors) than TCC and the entire coaching profession.
We can only attempt to broadcast the truth from our newsletter, our
blog, and through any other means we can find.
We hope that more viewers of the Starting Over show and other TV shows
that feature supposed “Life Coaches” will be inspired to consider
using life coaches to improve their lives. We also hope that these viewers
will be able to learn the differences between what true life coaches
can do for them and what they see on Starting Over. Once they learn
about what true life coaches do, they will undoubtedly give life coaching
much greater respect and consideration as a means to creating the future
they really want.
We welcome your opinions and comments.
Bill Dueease
Editor
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