June 23, 2005
Copyright © 2005 by Bill Dueease
Where would we be without mothers? In
my opinion, Motherhood is very special profession. Motherhood also has
very unique and demanding characteristics that are frequently misunderstood.
Let me tell you why I believe that motherhood is an amazing and special
profession.
Mothers are entrusted, and are almost totally responsible for the health,
care, training, morals, security, emotional strengths, attitudes, social
understanding discipline, and learning success of their children. Collectively,
mothers control the development and growth of almost all children in
the world, who eventually mature into adults. The relationships children
and even adults have with their mothers shape who they become as adults.
The results of the efforts of mothers are universal, extremely powerful,
everlasting, and extremely important to every person on the globe. Unfortunately,
motherhood is not given the respect and honor it deserves, as the world
shaping profession it is.
Mothers are required to possess the knowledge, practice the skills,
and perform the duties of so many different life functions that it would
be impossible to list them all. Here are but a few. Mothers must successfully
perform as nurses, cooks, nutritionists, teachers, trainers, educators,
coaches, therapists, disciplinarians, financial advisors, protectors,
cleaning specialists, transportation specialists, sports enthusiasts,
clothing and appearance specialists, peacemakers, mediators, and spiritual
advisors. Wow!
A vast majority of the knowledge, skills, and experience of performing
all of the important motherhood life functions are learned ON THE JOB.
I know of no college or university that teaches or trains mothers. They
must learn motherhood on their own, and by following their instincts.
Other professions like attorneys, medical doctors, and dentists, must
attend anywhere from six-to-ten years of additional education after
high school to be qualified to begin their profession. Yet, mothers
are required to be fully knowledgeable of all motherhood requirements
and operate at almost full speed from virtually the very beginning of
motherhood, with very little, if any, training.
Even though mothers perform the most important profession in the world,
they rarely, if ever, generate monetary income from their motherhood
efforts. Mothers are not paid to perform their multitude of very important
duties and activities. Mothers are rarely paid to change diapers, prepare
meals, or train their children. Mothers are frequently supported by
their husbands, who are expected to generate enough income to pay for
their needs. Unfortunately today, there appears to be an increasing
trend of expecting mothers to continue performing their full time motherhood
professional duties and also work at an income-producing job to generate
money.
As the youngest child grows up, the time demands, effort demands, mental
involvement, and personal contact by mothers with their children will
shrink. Motherhood with young babies is almost a 24 hours, seven days
a week profession. Think of the relief mothers feel when their youngest
baby finally sleeps through the night for the first time, without awakening
for feeding or to have a diaper changed. The job requirements of motherhood
are greatly reduced, as their youngest child goes off to school. Time
and energy demands on mothers diminish even more as their youngest child
continues to grow and attend even more out of the house activities.
Eventually, mothers will be faced with an empty nest as the purposes
of their motherhood vocation depart.
Mothers frequently feel stymied when they seek new careers. They feel
inadequate because they have been out of the work force for so long,
or because they feel they have less education than they think is necessary,
or because they are older than other potential entry level workers,
or because finding and applying for jobs and can be a daunting and confusing
process. Unfortunately, the normal Human Resources culture of the corporate
world and the owners of small business don’t always treat empty
nest mothers as a valuable source of productive workers.
Mothers are far more qualified and far more valuable producers than
they, or the business world realizes. The skills, experience, knowledge,
sense of responsibility, wisdom, patience, leadership, organizational
capabilities, resourcefulness, human relationship capabilities, and
other real life skills that mothers developed over the years of motherhood
are extremely valuable to people who recognize their true worth.
You will want to fill the void with another supportive profession.
You will always be a mother to your children. However, you will experience
a void when your children begin to leave home. You will eventually want
(and most often need) to fill this void with another career or work
position. At some point in time, you will want to convert your experience,
your energies, your need for achievement, your need for involvement,
your passions, and your knowledge that was fulfilled through full-time
motherhood into something else. You will want to discover and operate
in a new profession, or work position, or career that allows you to
fulfill your many passions and desires. You want to do this without
interfering with mother-related responsibilities and on your own terms.
You will not want to rely on the unappreciative and unmotivated corporate
and business worlds to select the right professions for you. When you
take control over your work selection process, you will be able to discover
your true value and unleash your energies towards a new career that
will be an excellent fit for you at this new point in life. When you
chose the new career that best suits your passions, priorities, experiences
and talents you will achieve exceptional successes. You will also discover
how much easier it will be to attract significant monetary and personal
rewards when you operate in the new career that you love. It is never
too late for you to capitalize on what you have to offer and what you
want to do, when you focus your efforts towards the right work situation
for you.
The key to you being able to discover then attain the next career that
best suits you is to look within yourself first. You come with a multitude
of different experiences and priorities. Many times you are faced with
option overload when you try to pick the right post full-time motherhood
career. You have also focused so much of your time, energy, and thinking
on the growth and improvement of your children (and spouse) that you
have forgotten to take care of yourself. You will want to stop, take
a deep breath, and seek what you want out of the rest of your life.
How will you be able to change directions and concentrate on yourself
first, to discover what personal motivations you have, after years of
putting others first? You will want to find the right person who will
focus only on you as a person and assist you to unravel the mystery
of who you are and who you want to become. You want someone who is highly
motivated to assist you, who is trustworthy, who is objective, who is
nonjudgmental, and has done this before. You might consider using a
friend, but objectivity becomes an issue. You could consider using a
therapist, but you do not need to be fixed. Another alternative would
be to consider using a professional life coach to support you in this
process. We have found that mothers who use a life coach transitioned
into wonderful and enjoyable new lives, without interfering with their
motherhood.
Now you see why I believe that Motherhood is the most intriguing, important,
and under appreciated profession in the world. Yet, most mothers don’t
anticipate that motherhood also has a very unique and misunderstood
reduction in the time and effort demands as their children grow up.
As a mother, you will want to recognize and plan for the need to re-direct
your wonderful talents and passions towards a new vocation as the daily
demands of motherhood wind down. Making the transition to a new vocation
can be daunting. The best course for you to take control over this transition
and select the right vocation for you is to seek assistance from the
right person, and not try to do it alone. We feel that the door to enjoyment
and fulfillment after motherhood can easily be opened by using a life
coach.
We welcome your opinions and comments.
Bill Dueease
Editor
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